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NEW TO WRESTLING GUIDE
Whether you’re stepping onto the mats for the first time or chatting with someone online, these tips will help you feel comfortable, safe, and ready to enjoy the queer wrestling community.
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CONVERSATIONS BEFORE YOU WRESTLE
TYPES OF WRESTLING AND GRAPPLING STYLES
Wrestling means different things to different people. Here are some of the most common styles you’ll encounter in the queer wrestling community. Click on the image to learn more.
MEETING AT IN-PERSON EVENTS
Open mats can be a fun and rewarded way to meet new wrestlers and try out the sport. Both WrestleFest Toronto and our community partner grapple pit host open mats throughout the year.
HOW IT WORKS:
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Unstructured training time: roll, learn, or just watch.
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You choose your partners - If you want to wrestle someone, simply just ask
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Set rules and boundaries with your partner - tap or say "stop" (or an agreed upon word) to release a hold.
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All levels welcome—beginners encouraged.
WHAT TO BRING:
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Water
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Towel
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Gym clothes (typically a t-shirt and pocketless shorts - avoid any clothes with sharp objects or baggy pockets where fingers could get stuck)
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Singlet (if you prefer to wrestle in one)
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Flip flops or sandals (keep outside shoes off the mat area)
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A change of clothes (you WILL get sweaty)
TIPS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME:
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Arrive prepared: Bring water, a towel, and whatever gear makes you feel comfortable—shorts, singlet, or gym clothes.
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Introduce yourself: Most people come solo, so don’t be shy. A simple “Hey, want to roll?” goes a long way.
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Pace yourself: Wrestling is a workout! Take breaks when you need them and listen to your body.
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Respect boundaries: If someone says “let’s keep it light” or wants to pause, respect that.
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Stay safe: Tap out early and often if you feel uncomfortable in a hold—your partner will (and should) release immediately.
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Stay humble: Like anything, wrestling is a still that takes a long time to learn. Don't be afraid or scared to tap. It's much better to tap early than to get injured. Those with more experience will be happy to show you new techniques.
MEETING ONLINE
GETTING STARTED WITH MEETFIGHTERS
If you’re curious about wrestling and looking to meet others who share your interest, MeetFighters is one of the most popular online communities for connecting with wrestlers worldwide. Whether you’re brand new to the sport or have years of experience, creating a strong profile and engaging respectfully will help you build meaningful friendships and set the stage for safe, enjoyable matches.
CREATING YOUR PROFILE:
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Introduce yourself honestly: Share your interests, skill level, and what type of matches you’re looking for (submission, pro, competitive, play wrestling etc.). This helps others know what to expect.
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Upload photos that reflect you: A friendly, recent photo makes it easier for others to connect. If you’re not comfortable posting face photos publicly, start with body shots or shots in wrestling gear.
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Use the “Interests” and “Stats” sections: Filling these out makes it easier for others to find you through search filters.
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Be clear in your bio: Let people know if you’re seeking casual roll-arounds, competitive matches, training partners, or just social connections.
STARTING CONVERSATIONS
Messaging wrestlers for the first time can be intimidating. The best way to form connections is to be respectful and genuine:
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Send polite, personalized messages: Instead of a generic “Hey,” mention something specific from their profile that caught your eye.
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Treat it like an in-person introduction: Be friendly, clear about what you’re looking for, and patient if someone doesn’t respond right away.
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Respect boundaries from the start: If someone isn’t interested, don’t push—it’s better to move on and connect with those who share your interests.
DISCUSSING BOUNDARIES BEFORE A MATCH
So you found a potential wrestling partner, amazing! Now it's time to start talking logistics.
Every good match begins with clear communication:
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Talk before meeting: Discuss rules, intensity, holds, and limits ahead of time so both of you are on the same page.
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Confirm logistics: Decide on where, when, and how long the session will last
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Check comfort zones: Some wrestlers are into playful, light grappling while others want competitive matches. Some prefer erotic elements in a match while others wrestle purely for sport—make sure your goals align.
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Consent is ongoing: You can always pause, adjust, or stop a match if something doesn’t feel right.
MEETING SAFELY
Having your first match should be a fun, exciting, and rewarding experience. Keep these safety tips in mind:
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Consider choosing a neutral location: While most prefer to wrestle in private settings, consider meeting and chatting in a public place first to determine your comfort level with the person.
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Share your plans: While many prefer to be discreet about wrestling, it's always best to let a trusted friend know where you're going and how long you'll be away.
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Trust your instincts: If someone seems pushy, ignores boundaries, or makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to walk away or block them. Report any unsafe behaviour to the MeetFighters admin team.
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Consent is ongoing: You’re never obligated to do anything you don’t want to, and respecting each other’s limits makes for the best matches. You can always pause, adjust, or stop a match if something doesn’t feel right
GENERAL ONLINE SAFETY:
Like any online community, it’s important to stay mindful:
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Protect personal details: Keep sensitive information (like your home address) private until you’re comfortable.
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Use the platform’s tools: MeetFighters allows you to block, report, or flag inappropriate behavior—don’t hesitate to use these features.
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Be cautious with off-site communication: If someone insists on moving chats off-platform right away, be aware and make sure you’re comfortable.
TALKING BEFORE YOU WRESTLE
Whether you meet online or at an in-person wrestling event, it's always important to speak with any potential wrestling partner to ensure you're on the same page. A few things to keep in mind include:
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Set expectations early: Ask what kind of match your partner enjoys (light sparring, competitive, playful, instructional, etc.).
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Discuss limits: Talk about holds, intensity, and whether you’re okay with higher-intensity submissions, slams, or lifts. Depending on the situation, you may also want to consider discussing erotic limits with your partner.
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Agree on safe words/signals: A “Tap out” is standard—either by tapping your partner or the mat. (We recommend tapping your partner to ensure they know you are tapping.) Make sure you both understand and respect the agreed upon signals.
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Check in during breaks: A quick “all good?” or “want to keep going?” helps keep the match fun and safe.
CONSENT AND RESPECT
CONSENT EXPLAINED:
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Consent is ongoing: Just because someone agreed once doesn’t mean they have to again. Always ask before escalating intensity.
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No means no, always: Whether it’s online, in person, or on the mats, respect the answer.
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Celebrate diversity: WrestleFest Toronto thrives because it’s inclusive—different body types, skill levels, and experiences are all welcome.
EXTRA TIPS FOR A GREAT FIRST EXPERIENCE
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Stay hydrated: Wrestling is intense—drink water throughout.
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Be open-minded: You’ll meet people from different backgrounds and with different styles.
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Community first, ego second: This is about connection and fun, not proving dominance.
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Follow up: If you had a good time, consider leaving a review on MeetFighters and keep the connection going—community grows one match at a time.